31 May 2011

So far today, 0 calories. I'm not even trying to fast, I'm really just not hungry. I've been trying to hold off on weighing myself when I feel skinny. Even though I know that means I am skinny unfortunately. Tomorrow will probably be doomsday since I'm planning on going to the gym then lay out in the sun with some friends. I'm scared to death of wearing my bathing suit in front of them. I'm just going for the tan.

I haven't weighed myself since the last time my father forced me to. I knew I wouldn't make his weight limit of at least 110. I've been getting really lucky about that, but, then the bomb dropped on me. I weighed 109 flat, with clothes on! I can't believe it. I was trying to hide my happiness from him since he was threatening me in front of my mother and sister. Wasn't that easy. That triggered me to pig out on three crab cakes, a serving of macaroni and cheese and a serving of onion rings. Oh well.

I took my medicine today and now my stomach's tweaking. I still don't feel hungry somehow, just a lot of uncomfortable cramps, fuck. I should probably eat something but I have absolutely no idea what. I hate having to make myself food since I'm such a lazy bitch.

BTW I survived the Memorial Day Party. It was fun day drinking on adderrall. God will I ever get away from the pillzZZ? Probably not, lol.

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