01 June 2011

I didn't eat much yesterday, yet my weight went up. I'm deathly afraid I'm getting my period, which absolutely sucks because I barely get it at all. Figures it's when it's so fucking hot outside, ruins all of my plans. Roughly 180 calories today. Expecting on burning at least 500 calories today at the gym. Yay for burning more than eating!

I remember last year at this time. I was going to the gym just about everyday and burning so many calories. I had such a cute figure, I wish I could go back to that... sometimes. I feel like purging my salad. It doesn't taste right sitting in my throat. Fuck, if only I could force myself to throw up. It'll be a breath of fresh air to go with someone new to the gym. I don't really like going with people because they sort of just laugh at the type of things I do. I don't ever lift for fear of putting on muscle and refuse to hop off of the cycle unless I've gone ten miles or have burned up to 350 calories. Planning on making my way to the Arc Trainer. It's supposed to make your buns and thighs look lovely... or something like that.

I barely slept today. My insomnia is coming back and so hard now. Probably because of the fact I've been abusing some pills to help me fall asleep and decided against it last night. I hate to love fucking up my body with pills. Pills of any kind. Laxatives, sedatives, stimulants. It's gross... Depending on how I'm feeling after the gym I might treat myself to a frozen hot chocolate at Dunkin Donuts. They look so phenomenal and since I have never been a stickler about drinking my calories, since I just pee them out anyways, it may not be too bad... We'll see of course though.

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