21 August 2011

Celebrating my year and a half with Mikey was a lot of fun. We ended up finding molly that actually wasn't shit and wasn't 50% cut with something other than MDMA, needless to say the celebration was lovely. A ton of people were there and the only downfall was that I couldn't sleep for the life of me. Basically my sleeping schedule is all sorts of fucked up from sleeping on and off all day yesterday. I need to kick my ass into gear since starting a little over a week is school and my part-time job (YAY!) If only this upcoming week would go by faster.
Although I'm starting to get nervous.
I want to be down to at least 105 pounds by the time school commences. I know it might be a little hard to stay on a strict diet but I've been doing good thus far. I was down to 106 pounds yesterday and after eating a veggie delite sub from Subway and a medium vanilla milkshake from McDonalds I weighed in at 107.4 pounds, it's like my default weight. It's so dumb and makes me so mad. No matter what I'm always "107.4" but why? Why can't my body fluctuate down to 106. I feel like it should've happened a long time ago.
I don't feel like being depressing today. I'll save the story about the problem's that my family has created for themselves for a different post. It's no one's business really and I promised my sister to keep all of it a secret. It's weird how much I love her but how much I hate her. Our love/hate relationship seems to be close to the relationship I have with my scale.
REMEMBER: when you do go into recovery Kristen, the first thing you do when you get home is throw your scale out the window and pray that it shatters into tiny pieces.

I'm going to make coffee and catch up on my medicine and attempt to work out soon. Boring.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry, I know the feeling when weight seems to dominate your every thought. It's shite.
    I hope things with your family are okay?

    Look after yourself xxx