05 August 2011

I don't deserve to eat today.
I took 80 milligrams of Oxycodone last night after saying how much I liked being sober, I fucking hate myself. I wish I could just say no to drugs but they keep sucking me in.
Now I'm throwing up stomach acid and can't even keep a soda down. I kind of like the feeling of throwing up. I hate that it's all acid though. This happened to me all of the time when I was on Amitiza and now that I'm off of it I realize how much I don't miss it.

I didn't end up going to that job interview today. I really need to pass that drug test or convince my manager to  let me retake it if I didn't.
Why am I such a fuck up? Why is that the only question I keep asking myself lately?

My head hurts.
My stomach acid tastes like last night's ziti... gross.


  1. Stomach acid is the worst thing to throw up. I can't think of anything I've ever thrown up (voluntarily or not) that was worse. Hope you're feeling better!

  2. Get some fake pee at a smoke shop near you. You just need to keep it between your legs for a while so it's body temperature. My best friend is a total stoner and she uses it whenever she needs to take a drug test for a job. =]

  3. Thanks Emry, it didn't last too long luckily! Just about right after this post I got up and got over it

    & Scriptix, I was way too scared and didn't want to blow that much money since I already got a detox drink. It ended up working well, tell your friend if she ever needs a quick fix that Rely Detox Drink works wonders!