I don't deserve to eat today.
I took 80 milligrams of Oxycodone last night after saying how much I liked being sober, I fucking hate myself. I wish I could just say no to drugs but they keep sucking me in.
Now I'm throwing up stomach acid and can't even keep a soda down. I kind of like the feeling of throwing up. I hate that it's all acid though. This happened to me all of the time when I was on Amitiza and now that I'm off of it I realize how much I don't miss it.
I didn't end up going to that job interview today. I really need to pass that drug test or convince my manager to let me retake it if I didn't.
Why am I such a fuck up? Why is that the only question I keep asking myself lately?
My head hurts.
My stomach acid tastes like last night's ziti... gross.