16 May 2011

So much has happened today without anything happening it's ridiculous.

I decided I would start a thinspiration journal. I really enjoy to write and it would be nice to look back on my thoughts and accomplishments, even if they're morbid or depressing, haha. I got back one of my course grades, luckily it was an A-, totally wasn't expecting that... even more of a chance of straight A's this semester! I rock! I'm sort of upset with the comments she left on my unit plan though, I worked long and hard and she didn't seem to recognize that at all... bitch. I got my text today for my summer class so I can't really fuck this up. It's an online, three week course, total bullshit of three credits... I love it. Mikey and his family comes home today from Michigan, I get to pick them up and spend time with them. They're like my family away from my family, cause god knows my family isn't shit.

I'm starting to get more insecure with my weight. My friend told me last night that it looks like I was finally putting on some weight. It freaked me the fuck out, even though I was down to my average weight (107.6 lbs) and was wearing like, I don't know, four shirts cause I'm always cold. I'm doing everything in my power to drop just as much weight as I did last summer. It was really successful and I felt really good during the process. This new job that I decided to go forth with should help with motivation, I can make my own hours (AKA during meal times) and I have to do some serious lifting so I'll be burning a lot more calories than at Panera.

I've constructed this whole diet thing I sort of want to try out. I'll be eating the same things every day basically but I've never minded that. My disordered eating loves doing that shit for some reason.
Breakfast/lunch: English muffin, 1 egg, 1 slice of cheese (not always depending on day)
Dinner: salad or parfait
Snack: fruits or veggies
I sort of wanted to do the Skinny Girl Diet but I'm too afraid that I won't be able to follow through with the commitment. I'm scared I'll give into a binge if I feel like I have to restrict all of the fucking time. Plus I hate always having to find the posts for the diet clubs on PT, so annoying. I envy all of the girls that are putting forth the effort to continue the SGD, they seem to like it a lot and it works wonders!

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