I failed today. I failed so fucking hard all day today.
2 slices of pizza and 4 chicken wings with a roast beef sandwich and a serving of cheese balls. I fucking hate myself for binging right now but can't control it. Everything feels like it's spiraling. I don't want to see or hang out with anyone tomorrow and don't want to burden anyone. I just want to walk on the treadmill but I'm too much of a pussy to just stay downstairs. I don't want my parents to bitch that I kept them up all night like I always do. I'm just eating my emotions and already took two doses of my prescription laxatives, 3 fiber laxative pills and 3 ex-lax maximum strengths. I hope I have the worst stomach pains all night and I suffer. I'm going to wake up and be stronger tomorrow. I'm gonna stick to this diet even if it fucking kills me.
Why do I have to be so fucking crazy? Why was I born so fucking crazy?