11 June 2011

I'm scared to look at the scale for sure. First because I'm extremely bloated right now and second because I know that my hard work is going to suffer tomorrow. Well, technically today.

I have to wake up early to get ready and go to my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend's graduation. Her family and my boyfriend's family are joining together the whole day. I got invited so I felt obligated to go. I have to have a "light" lunch with all of those people and my boyfriend's grandmother. Then I have to go out to dinner with all of these people. Tomorrow's gonna be a fail day and today was an "oopsy" day. I was only off my 500 calories by tops 230 calories. I'm trying to see it as a positive thing since tomorrow my body's going to be overwhelmed. Not to mention, it's helping to boost my metabolism (both days). It'll be easier next week since I have no big plans like this except for the 18th which is actually going to be happening. With no food. Just drugs and alcohol and people YAY! My three favorite things... besides cigarettes, lol.

I probably won't be pleased to get on the scale and I think as a back-up I'm not going to weigh myself the Sunday coming up. I don't want the food weight/water weight to disappoint me... unless I'm in a binging mood, in which, I will weigh myself ALL day as a reminder as to why I need to restrict down. Potentially hitting the gym for an hour or two on Sunday just to keep my mind off of the negative that my body's going to feel.


  1. Light lunch = graduation party food so no one will notice if you don't eat. :) Which is always awesomeness!

    And dinner... that's gonna be hard. You could order a salad but a lot of times that almost looks like you're screaming, "hey! I'm celebrating with a fucking SALAD!" hmm...

    Cigarettes are my favorite things too.

  2. Sometimes I wish I could get back into doing ecstasy and mushrooms but I know I can't. I work in a rehab so it's kind of contradictory. I still hate getting on the scale, I hardly ever do except maybe once every few days. It fluctuates so much that it gets discouraging.. :(

    I never thought of weighing myself constantly if I feel like binging... that's a good idea!

  3. Yeah extremely contradicting. I never really liked shrooms except for one time. I don't know why, everything was perfect the one night I did it. My boyfriend was basically eating them like they were chips after a while, ahh good times. Don't worry you're not missing out on much lovebug.

    Ehh light lunch turned into a sandwich, a serving of chips, and a serving of macaroni salad. For dinner we went to a place called Buca di Beppo, they only serve "buca small" or "buca large" for sizes. So I was forced to eat a serving of almost every dish we all agreed on. I didn't eat any bread and tried to stick with filling up on caprese salad (which was absolutely delicious). Then I was forced to spilt ice cream with the boyfriend. Basically I'm in a terrible mood and hope it doesn't show. I'm sure my boyfriends family knows I hve an eating disorder, they hint at it subtlely and have asked Mikey questions, I was stuck in a rock and a hard spot today and had to just go with it...