11 June 2011

I'm so upset and have no one to talk to about this right now. I'm on my iTouch so sorry for any mistakes in spelling or grammar (especially in my comment replies!)

Today was my boyfriends brothers girlfriends graduation from Union Graduate College. I was forced to eat too much food and couldn't get out of doing so. I needcto keep telling myself that today has been the ONLY day I messed up thus far in my project "get beautiful" and I still have an entire week to redeem myself plus more. I don't wanna talk about speccifics of what I ate today, reflecting back on it makes me want to cry and can't because I'm watching the first episode from The Twilight Zone (made in 1959) with Mikey and his family. It sucks because when I'm with them I want to be normal. I don't want to be a burden, although, right now that's all I feel like I am.

Okay, so whenever I write things down I tend to commit to them. Tomorrow's plan consists of walking for at least 45 minutes. A good sweat always detoxes me and makes me feel great, not to mention I need to burn off these calories. I'm staying away from carbs for sure tomorrow and will continue with the 500 calories or under. If Mikey doesn't stay with me all day this will be possible, knowing my luck he'll be with me. I don't want him to know I'm doing this because it breaks his heart and makes us drift apart. Ugh, whywhywhy?

Okay sooooo, that's the game pln. I'm getting over today (by abusing hydros with the boy and potentially drink) then tomorrow is a whole new day. Amen... Or something like that.


  1. It definitely is difficult trying to maintain with people watching you. It sucks being so secretive. Hang in there, tomorrow is Monday :) Fresh start!

  2. It really does suck, I wish I could just tell people how it really is. I survived though! And I didn't even give in yesterday to the food that my boyfriend was eating since he stayed with me at my house (so there was no gym time, but that's okay). Plus I haven't gone to the bathroom and already lost some of the water weight, I'm sure after I go I'll be back down to my plateau :)

    thanks for the encouragement!