I found this weird little piece of paper on my car today that said "Dial a Prayer" with three different numbers on it. I told my mom and Mikey but I don't think they understand it's relevance and how ironic it is for it to turn up right now.
After feeling so suicidal lately with everything that's happening and not really knowing where to turn or who to talk to for the fear of being a burden or being laughed at it was nice to know that even a random stranger would do. It made me feel at peace today for some reason when I saw it. I've been smiling (for the most part) ever since.
I'm really upset at my college and probably won't be able to stop saying that until I figure out for sure or not if I'm going to graduate on time. I don't feel so bad because most everybody is staying an extra semester. Even those that aren't going for their teaching degree. My boyfriend and I decided it was because we're white that we're being treated like shit by our advisors and getting fucked by the system royally.
On a positive note I'd say I'm about halfway done with my project that's due on the 22nd. I finished citing my hot topic paper that's due tomorrow. All I have left is a final (which is making a 2 to 3 minute movie) for English that I have the storyboard for just haven't actually got any footage yet and finish up on my actual hot topic presentation for class (which should only be 2 to 3 more slides). It's a joke how much I work myself up over homework and how much relief I get when I know the semester is going to be over with soon. Is it summer yet?
Another positive note. I'm going to Bass In Your Face with hella people on Friday night. It's a rave, not sure what to wear or how to do my make-up or how my hair is going to stay cute all night but FUCKIT. I'm rollin' and enjoying myself and the next day I can deal with attempting to finish up my project, muahaha! So scholarly of me.