I feel like my boyfriend doesn't even want to hang out with me anymore. I wish I never asked him if he wanted to see me after I was done working. I mean I know he's with his group and all but he always makes time to text everyone else it seems whenever we're in the middle of something important like an argument or a date or something.

He's becoming really triggering and I don't know what to do about it. I try not to let it bother me. I try not to look at my phone every five seconds. I try not to dwell on the things he says when he's upset but I just can't help it anymore. It's been close to 2 years and these past 2 years have been some of the best and worst times of my life. I've been hurt by him emotionally (which is more painful than physically) and he promised me things that he's broken. I try not to forget but I always have these nightmares and they keep coming back stronger and more recently lately.

I don't know what to make of all of this.
I need to go buy a pack of cigarettes before work now... so much for quitting.