13 December 2011

I got my period last night.

I don't know if I'm really upset. I guess that explains why I weighed in at 110 exactly yesterday though. God I'm so sick of this yo-yoing. What I'm really pissed off about is that I was just 105 not too long ago and now suddenly I'm healthy enough to have my period... 2 months in a row after not being able to produce one for so long. I think it's all of the sugar I've been eating instead of the healthy foods... who really fucking knows though with the body of a "woman" or whatever I am anymore lol... zombie.

I'm in a lot of pain from it though, it's very discomforting and even after just laying down and taking Pamprin and all of that good stuff I'm still in pain. I wanted to go jogging today, but probably won't happen. Oh well. What's even weirder about all of this is that I haven't been extremely hungry at all. Yesterday I couldn't even finish half of my sub that I bought the day before for dinner. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything other than that and a little bit of trail mix which was all dried fruits (yum!)

I need to go tanning today though for sure. I have work at 5 (God bless my soul if I can move) and I'm going down to Albany for the night after. I pick up my FBA grade for my SEE 249 class, as well as my final, my final simulation and my overall grade. I'm going to be extremely upset if it's not an A- even though I'm not planning on that A-. I'm going to be upset either way I suppose, especially because I have to wake up early to grab all of that shit. I have to go to my final gym class tomorrow, fuck. I may not even be able to get an A- because I know I did terribly on that final as well (even though I actually did study). I just can't win this semester.

With that being said, next semester I'm doing things completely different. It's going to be really tough but I know I want to graduate on time because I'm not a poor student and I know I can take on the challenge of trying to find summer substitutes for the classes I need. I can do this. I'm mostly excited because eating is going to be a struggle with the constant back-and-forth and awkward timings for classes. I shouldn't be excited about that though... God I suck.

Just like two nights ago. I was actually excited after I threw up some of the food I ate for dinner. I was on a Suboxone just for the fun of it (I know, pretty dumb... oh well) and I was feeling sort of sick after eating some of a meatball/sausage sub and about 2 hours later about half of it came up. I felt like the ultimate purger because I didn't make noise, it was outside of my house and I didn't have to heave or use my fingers. Okay... enough with that story.

Does anybody have any advice for the pain I'm going to be in physically/emotionally because of my period? I know... big clothes or lose fitting clothes since I'm bloated and don't want to kill myself... Pamprin isn't really working for the pain... maybe I should go out and find some Xanax or something fun for the next few days.

1 comment:

  1. Hey. I've been off blogger for a long while because of school. But I love your blog!! Aw jeez. You're awesome. I don't really know what advice to give you about the physical/emotional pain. You could try some chamomile tea and meditation. I find meditation to actually be really difficult. I can't get myself to stop thinking. But when I have quiet and stretch, that usually helps me calm down. Also just like appreciating and being mindful of your body. Can help overlook the parts you hate for a brief moment. Hope you feel better!