I haven't weighed myself in a while because I had a bingey type weekend and was pissed off when I saw the scale and realized I fucked up after reaching my "goal weight"... God I hate that phrase, so gross.

I've been really sick for a while and decided to go to the doctor's after realizing I've been sleeping a lot more than usual. It could be just because I've been fucking up with my sleeping patterns and neglecting my health (malnutrition, no vitamins, ect) but I went to the doctor today. They never exactly told me if I have a double ear infection but I'm gonna go ahead and say yes since they gave me antibiotics for the next 10 days. They tested me for mononucleosis too.

Is it fucked up that I hope I do have mono so then I have an excuse to not eat or sleep... I mean... a lot of Christmas type celebrations are coming up and I would just like to rest for most of my vacation and not feel obligated to binge my face off in front of my family to please them. Oh well, I'm not pleasing anybody but myself anymore.

I'm going out tonight even though I really don't want to go. I'd rather stay home in my bed and rot like the piece of shit I am. I slept at Mikey's dorm through all of my classes yesterday and kept getting nauseous just getting up. Driving home was a bitch and a half. Once I got home I stayed up for about 4 hours and then passed out again and slept through the night. It's really weird... and so not like me.

So for all of you lovely people at there spare me a prayer and wish that I have mono... it's literally the only thing I want right now... besides sleep haha.