02 January 2012

breakfast: skipped
lunch: skipped
dinner: vegetable beef soup or a piece of talipa

I was doing fine, doing absolutely fantastic actually about putting on some weight until today. I got on the scale and I realized I'm at 111 and can feel all of these changes already. This is going to be the hardest relapse ever, I can feel it. I'm sick of yo-yoing and pretending I'm doing myself and my body any good. By my grandfather's memorial I plan on being down to 106-104 pounds, it's in a little over two weeks. With school starting that week and having to work and being stressed out about everything it'll be easy enough. I binged on all of the stocking candy I wanted to last night with Mikey so I wouldn't be TOO out of control. The rest is now thrown away. I'm not hungry anymore and the thought of having to eat is disgusting me. Maybe I'll just purge the soup and have fun with it, fuck it...

Today is a bad day.

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